lifelong knitter: Cycles of Grief

When maggi called me on Monday, I realized that it was the anniversary of my own father's death. I felt so much lighter and clearer than at this same time last year, having shed much of the baggage I have been carrying in my *not good enough* compartment.
I simply asked her what would help her the MOST at that moment, cleared my calendar, packed chocolate and finger puppets and knitting (of course) and drove to meet her. Turned out that the thing I needed the most was just what she needed the most and so I had the great joy and pleasure of playing with the Wee C at the park, while she made phone calls and entertained guests.
There is absolutely nothing in this world to compare to the pure love of a three year old at the park in the crisp autumn air...sheer JOY.
I also got to wear the Panda hat which is one of the cutest objects in the Universe, eclipsed only by the small, lovingly knit koigu mittens which lasted approximately a nanosecond on the child's hands...they seemed to glow as I slipped them in my pocket....
We swang way high on the swings, threw big sticks off the bridge into the *river* and watched their progress in the muddy water, made sand cakes and drank some excellent *tea*...
Before I knew it, mama maggi was back, joining us on the swings.
It was a simple thing to do, really.
Not like I ran a MARATHON or anything....
Yes RACHAEL, I hugged her TIGHT, for you, of course.
Tomorrow is the funeral, so maggi and I will both be wearing real clothes in dark,solid colors and possibly even lipstick. (just in case you feel the Universe shift a little, wanted you to know WHY.)
He was a true GENTLE man, her Daddy.
I feel blessed to have known him this short while
and ever so grateful that his daughter IM'd me on my birthday and bravely said
*Let's MEET somewhere*.
YES.
If the Wee C, in all her wisdom, has scoped out the situation correctly,
our daddies are both in Kitty Heaven right now, petting the cats.
So May it BE.

Comments

What a lovely post, Greta. It's a wonderful thing you did for Maggi and Wee C in their time of need. That's a wise question to ask, "What would help you the most?" I'll remember it for the future and try to really listen to the answer.

Posted by: Celia | November 18, 2004 at 03:49 PM

Darling. I lit a candle at the Dominican church in Siena where relics of Saint Katherine are housed. While I was there I lit candles for my dearly departed, my brother, my Nana, Granddad and Grandpa. My heart is with you and Maggi. Hug her for me.

Posted by: Nathania | November 18, 2004 at 04:26 PM