lifelong knitter

Filled with the spirit of Grace

My Father used to always tease me and say "Well, there's a REASON your middle name isn't Grace!".

According to the naming convention he used (yes, geeksters, a naming convention. I come by it honestly.) there was a high probability that my middle name would have, in fact, been Grace.

After Grace Beekhuis Bell, one of the first women to become Dean of a Medical School, which would later become UC Irvine (see history in the 1960s). As is my way, I aspired to be filled with the spirit of Grace. 

Yesterday I had two amazing conversations which prompted me to realize that the Universe is reminding me to write about how and why I choose Grace as my guiding principle.

First, I had the great privilege of interviewing a rather famous geneticist for a work project. It was one of the most inspiring conversations I have had in a very long time. He encourages his students to always question the underlying assumptions and continue to discover what it is that they are PASSIONATE about. Driven by the burning questions he needs to solve....he refuses to allow himself to be bored. He told me that he has a reputation for being a Contrarian, and then proceeded to explain why it was necessary to play that role in a world where "we've always done it that way" has become SOP. He graciously gave me an hour of his precious time, and I hope there will be further opportunities to brainstorm and collaborate with him.

Later in the afternoon, I was still swooning over the rarified air I had been breathing, and met my dear Daughter and one of her support network to map out the plan for moving things to the new house. We drew maps, took pictures, and measured. There will be a spreadsheet. At one point, she turned to me, teary, and said "You are the Star Trek Mom! Boldly going where no one else goes...." Daughter was in the other room, and came skipping out to say how much she LOVES the new place.

I'd like to think Grace would be proud.

Namaste.

The more things change...

The better I get at handling change.

Daughter bird is moving to a sweet little house in my Village! I could NOT be more excited! She will be close enough, and yet, independent.

I have to share a couple of stories as we are getting ready for the big move...

First, a knitting story:

The day before Hurricane Irene, she wanted a knitting project *for when the power goes out*. Which it DID, in her current neighborhood, for almost 12 hours. She had batteries and a fully stocked emergency kit, and a charged cell phone, of course....

So I cast on to lovely wooden needles with beautiful organic cotton yarn and took the project to her apartment. She hasn't knit in more than five years, but just took her time to remember, and was happily making progress by the time I headed home.

Fast forward to this week...the text message on my phone said *need a new knitting project*!

I had to take some paperwork by her apartment, so I got some more cotton from the stash and headed over. She greeted me at the door with a scarf on the needles. 

DB: Can you do the cast off and sew it into a mobius? I want to give this as a birthday present to A, mother of Z, who should not have an unsecured scarf while riding her bike to work. I'd like credit for the knitting and the idea, but tell her you did the cast on and cast off and the sewing?That way it will be from BOTH of us. Oh, and you can pick out the card.

Me: Sure! I know she will love it.

DB: I think I just figured out why knitting is actually therapeutic. When my hands are busy my ideas are clearer.

Me: I agree!

DB: Thanks for bringing me another project already cast on. I think it is a metaphor for how we do things. You like the ideas and the getting it finished, and I like the process of doing it at my own pace.

Me: WOW! That's brilliant!

DB: No, actually that is logic. Did you bring the paperwork for me to sign?

This just blew my mind. She is getting better at setting her boundaries, and figuring out that at her own pace is the key to less anxiety and more productive work. YeeHAW!

The second story involves her needing to use my laptop to do an online job application....

Me: okay, the laptop is ready for you.

DB: Thanks Mom. Can you get to the actual job I need to apply for and upload my resume? The website is REALLY frustrating.

Me: sure....(took me 20 minutes to get to the actual part time job...another 5 to get the system to *accept* the resume) frustrating, indeed!

DB: Really? You think it is frustrating, too?

Me: Oh yes, I don't think it is organized very well.

DB: Okay, now I need you to not sit next to me while I do the application and take the test. That might be cheating.

Me: Yep. I'll sit on the couch and knit.

DB: I'm going to knit after I am done with this, you know, to calm down.

Me: That's a great idea!

DB: (20 minutes in to the 2 hour process) These multiple choice test questions are funny. The answers they WANT always have the words TELL YOUR MANAGER in them. It must be hard for the managers to get any work done if everybody is always asking them questions and telling them stuff they already know. I do NOT want to be a Manager!

Me: Yes, they probably want you to follow the procedures.

DB: I always follow the rules. I'll just ask my manager to write them down. That way we will both get more work done!

Me: That's true.

DB: (at the end of the test) Okay, I am pushing SUBMIT now. I can't wait to start work! Do you think I will need to go in tomorrow?

Me: Well, I am pretty sure they will have to review the application and do the background check and call you after that....

DB: You mean, more WAITING?

Me: Yes.

DB: Let's KNIT.

Me: Oh YES, let's!

DB: Hey, MOM?

Me: Uh-hunh...

DB: No disrespect meant,  I'm really happy to be moving to the Village, but not back with you.

Me: No  disrespect taken. I'm really happy about it, too.

DB: Whew! Glad that's off my chest.

Me: I think I'll head home now and watch Uncle Jon on TV.

DB: Thanks for the help with the laptop. I think mine is clogged.

Me: CLOGGED?

DB: Yeah, I try to slow down so it can keep up, but you know, Windows is just SO SLOW.

Me: I know. Maybe we can get you an ipad for the fast thinking part and you can just use the Windows for the work stuff.

DB: I don't want the one, the new one, with the skype stuff. That's too much like talking on the phone.

Me: Okay....so you want the first generation one?

DB: Haha, that's redundant!

Me: Yes.

DB: Thanks Mom, Love you!

Me: Love you too, sweetheart!

On the drive home, I just marveled. The child who was never going to have a meaningful conversation or be able to ask questions? She can run circles around those *experts*! She is finding her way in a confusing world that doesn't really make sense to her. She would like fewer meetings, clearly defined rules that everybody follows, buses that run on time, and a little kindness.

Is that too much to ask?

Namaste.

Magical, mystical moments....

I went up to the mountains of NC for my birthday weekend. Had planned to knit in the cool mountain air, do some fishing, and just generally RELAX. 

It was absolutely lovely. Caught wild trout, finished a very special *pay it forward* project, ate amazing local organic meals at Seasons.

The relaxing, not so much. I was incredibly restless. Kept feeling like I needed to go for a long walk down by the lake. The last morning, Monday, I finally just gave in and went down by the lake on the way to breakfast. I knew it would make me late getting back home, and possibly late for work, but I just HAD to go walk by the lake!

Oh my GOODNESS. The water lilies were in full bloom. The lake was glorious. I turned to take a picture of one of my favorite little cottages on the water and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the For Sale sign. My heart leapt. I absolutely adore it. I thought that was the reason for my need to take this walk, but it turned out to be only the beginning. I decided to go the LONG way around to breakfast and came upon a White Peacock perched on the fence of the organic gardens which provide the feasts at Season's. I began to take pictures, and talk to the peacock, because, of course, wouldn't you? A voice, oddly familiar, answered me. "You must come and meet Glen". I turned, and saw the Gardener. My heart just melted. She was leaning on two canes, and slowly made her way toward me. I walked quickly to cover more than my half of the distance. "Glen?" 

"Oh, yes" she said. "He is my new young turkey, and needs to meet people!" I spent nearly an hour with her, meeting her sweet animals, gasping over her perennial fuschias, hoping that the abundance of figs would be ripe. "Next time you visit" she said. We talked about her Pygora goats and how she used to spin the fiber during the War. Then she invited me in to her amazing handbuilt house to see the sweater her sister knit for her in the second world war. Thick and heavy, still lanolin rich, it was hard to keep from crying as she told me how hard it was to be almost a world away from her sister in France.

I wrote my name and phone number down for her and she knew immediately how to pronounce it and what it MEANS. We talked about my time growing up and the wonderful visits to HER home country of Belgium. I felt like I had known her my whole life.

She showed me her drawings, her self-published children's books....I bought all of them on the spot. Soon I will post the details, so all of you who have young people in your lives can give them as holiday gifts...they are SO magical!

A rare glimpse into an intentional life, where gardening and animals and fiber and books and music and art and raising your children close to the land still MATTERS....such a GIFT!

I made it to work with (literally) one minute to spare.

Wishing you blessings and LOVE

as always!

Namaste.

 

Inspired by the new Twist Collective

 

I have been absent from the blog for awhile. I kept thinking I would share with you my journey out of the depths of grief, but it was just too painful to write about it.

I wanted to share what I was knitting, but I just never got around to taking pictures.

Then suddenly it was August, and I clicked on the Twist Collective Fall 2011 edition and got totally inspired.

To write, to take pictures, to plan on Fall Knitting.

I LOVE so many of the wonderful projects in this collection.

Thinking about Fall made me look around and realize that much of my life has come to a total standstill since my sister's diagnosis.

Books piled up unread, things to do just didn't get done.

I've been in a deep fog, not really seeing things clearly.

Time to do some serious cleaning and reordering of priorities.

I want to lighten my load.

Many trips to the PTA thrift store and the Habitat for Humanity re-use store are in my immediate future.

In no way do I regret my total focus on my sister, or the time I spent with her in California, helping her do whatever she wanted to do, one last time.

It is my belief that it is important to truly grieve, for whatever time is necessary, and then learn from the loss and move forward in a way that honors the lost.

Thank you for your patience, your support, and LOVE. It means the world to me.

Namaste.

Tour de Fleece 2011

I had forgotten how much I enjoy Spinning....

and isn't the scenery Stunning on the Tour de France coverage?

Hope you are having a LOVELY Holiday weekend....

Namaste.

Trying to get back on Track....

Knitting and my knitting friends have been a great solace as I deal with the loss of my sister.

I am going to join the Tour de Fleece group this year in her honor, as she was all about the LIVESTRONG lifestyle and was a great admirer of Lance Armstrong.

I used to spin quite a bit, and this is a great way to get back in the saddle again.

I am still doing the couch to 5K training and STILL only having the knee pain when walking or after resting. I'm feeling stronger with each week on the program, and getting regular chiropractic adjustments. I may add some swimming to the mix after the walk/run gets boring.

Back on the schedule for the second half of the sleep study, and can I just say WOW, what a difference. I am actually SLEEPING eight full hours most nights and waking up feeling rested. Looking forward to being cleared to participate in the Yoga classes soon.

Wishing you Blessings and LOVE,

as always.

xox

 

Goodbye, Little Sister, Godspeed!

It has been a long dark journey of sadness over the last 18 months.

My sister departed this life early this morning, her struggle finally over.

I was blessed to have two weeks with her recently, and was honored to share some amazing experiences with her. We said everything we needed to say, including "Goodbye".

She was a very private person, and asked me specifically not to share too many details.

Life is short, and can be VERY sweet.

Blessings to you and yours

as ALWAYS!

xox

Updates....

My brilliant chiropractor was able to fit me in today.....and it turns out that the PAIN is not actually from my knee. It is referred pain from a Morton's neuroma. I knew as soon as she said it, that the diagnosis was correct. I've been to some HIGHLY respected podiatrists who x-rayed and made me orthotics and thought the pain was coming from my lower back....or pooh-poohed it all together. I kept saying that it felt like the bones in my foot were breaking and the idiot neurologist actually said *really? How do you know? Have you ever broken the bones in your feet before?*

Yes, actually, I have. Way back in College Gymnastics, I broke all of the metatarsals in my left foot, which coincidentally is where the pain is NOW.  Good Lord. Think that would explain it?

um, no. Not according to the neurologist...

Clearly it is all in my pretty little head. He prescribed Valium. I never even filled the prescription.

Thanks anyway, dude.

SHE, on the other hand, prescribed something that is actually WORKING. For less than ten bucks, I have these wonderful gel-filled metatarsal supports which allow the bones room to spread out instead of grinding on each other and inflaming the nerves....

how do I spell relief? CHIROPRACTIC.

A coupe of days of rest and I will be on week three of the couch 25K plan again.

With supports in my shoes.

Blessings to you and yours,

as ALWAYS.

Week TWO, complete!

I finished workout 3 of week 2 in the couch25K program!

The running part felt GREAT again, the walking was not so great, and as soon as I STOPPED the brisk walking to do the cool down, the knee pain flared up again. So strange.  I sent a note to my chiropractor for a checkup Monday or Tuesday.

I took lots of photos for the RED part of Project Spectrum.

Here are just a few:

The knitting continues...perhaps I'll have pictures of progress, soon.

Blessings to you and yours

as Always!

My photo made USA Today!

When the Science Editor emailed to say that she read my blog post about the Magic Cicada hatch, I had a VERY Geekygirl moment....

The SCIENCE editor.

sigh.

She wanted to know if I'd be willing to do an interview...

well, OF COURSE!

I answered the phone at the appointed time, and told her I was going to put her on Speaker and then step outside so she could HEAR the song of the Magic Cicadas....

It was SO amazing to be able to share it, and we had a lovely chat, and TODAY....

I'm in the PAPER and on page 3A in the print version.

Thank you Elizabeth!

You MADE my day.....

Here are some of the photos I took: