The more things change...

The better I get at handling change.

Daughter bird is moving to a sweet little house in my Village! I could NOT be more excited! She will be close enough, and yet, independent.

I have to share a couple of stories as we are getting ready for the big move...

First, a knitting story:

The day before Hurricane Irene, she wanted a knitting project *for when the power goes out*. Which it DID, in her current neighborhood, for almost 12 hours. She had batteries and a fully stocked emergency kit, and a charged cell phone, of course....

So I cast on to lovely wooden needles with beautiful organic cotton yarn and took the project to her apartment. She hasn't knit in more than five years, but just took her time to remember, and was happily making progress by the time I headed home.

Fast forward to this week...the text message on my phone said *need a new knitting project*!

I had to take some paperwork by her apartment, so I got some more cotton from the stash and headed over. She greeted me at the door with a scarf on the needles. 

DB: Can you do the cast off and sew it into a mobius? I want to give this as a birthday present to A, mother of Z, who should not have an unsecured scarf while riding her bike to work. I'd like credit for the knitting and the idea, but tell her you did the cast on and cast off and the sewing?That way it will be from BOTH of us. Oh, and you can pick out the card.

Me: Sure! I know she will love it.

DB: I think I just figured out why knitting is actually therapeutic. When my hands are busy my ideas are clearer.

Me: I agree!

DB: Thanks for bringing me another project already cast on. I think it is a metaphor for how we do things. You like the ideas and the getting it finished, and I like the process of doing it at my own pace.

Me: WOW! That's brilliant!

DB: No, actually that is logic. Did you bring the paperwork for me to sign?

This just blew my mind. She is getting better at setting her boundaries, and figuring out that at her own pace is the key to less anxiety and more productive work. YeeHAW!

The second story involves her needing to use my laptop to do an online job application....

Me: okay, the laptop is ready for you.

DB: Thanks Mom. Can you get to the actual job I need to apply for and upload my resume? The website is REALLY frustrating.

Me: sure....(took me 20 minutes to get to the actual part time job...another 5 to get the system to *accept* the resume) frustrating, indeed!

DB: Really? You think it is frustrating, too?

Me: Oh yes, I don't think it is organized very well.

DB: Okay, now I need you to not sit next to me while I do the application and take the test. That might be cheating.

Me: Yep. I'll sit on the couch and knit.

DB: I'm going to knit after I am done with this, you know, to calm down.

Me: That's a great idea!

DB: (20 minutes in to the 2 hour process) These multiple choice test questions are funny. The answers they WANT always have the words TELL YOUR MANAGER in them. It must be hard for the managers to get any work done if everybody is always asking them questions and telling them stuff they already know. I do NOT want to be a Manager!

Me: Yes, they probably want you to follow the procedures.

DB: I always follow the rules. I'll just ask my manager to write them down. That way we will both get more work done!

Me: That's true.

DB: (at the end of the test) Okay, I am pushing SUBMIT now. I can't wait to start work! Do you think I will need to go in tomorrow?

Me: Well, I am pretty sure they will have to review the application and do the background check and call you after that....

DB: You mean, more WAITING?

Me: Yes.

DB: Let's KNIT.

Me: Oh YES, let's!

DB: Hey, MOM?

Me: Uh-hunh...

DB: No disrespect meant,  I'm really happy to be moving to the Village, but not back with you.

Me: No  disrespect taken. I'm really happy about it, too.

DB: Whew! Glad that's off my chest.

Me: I think I'll head home now and watch Uncle Jon on TV.

DB: Thanks for the help with the laptop. I think mine is clogged.

Me: CLOGGED?

DB: Yeah, I try to slow down so it can keep up, but you know, Windows is just SO SLOW.

Me: I know. Maybe we can get you an ipad for the fast thinking part and you can just use the Windows for the work stuff.

DB: I don't want the one, the new one, with the skype stuff. That's too much like talking on the phone.

Me: Okay....so you want the first generation one?

DB: Haha, that's redundant!

Me: Yes.

DB: Thanks Mom, Love you!

Me: Love you too, sweetheart!

On the drive home, I just marveled. The child who was never going to have a meaningful conversation or be able to ask questions? She can run circles around those *experts*! She is finding her way in a confusing world that doesn't really make sense to her. She would like fewer meetings, clearly defined rules that everybody follows, buses that run on time, and a little kindness.

Is that too much to ask?

Namaste.

Comments

[Colleen Roe Simmie]

Beautiful. You are so wise. Your daughter is wonderful.

My daughter, who just moved away, called me a few nights ago. I tense up a bit when I get the calls because of some of my experiences with the calls I have received from her older sister, the kind where bad things have happened.

Anyway, she said: "Mom, I have a question. How do you cook a beet?" That is the kind of call that makes me smile.