A new Beginning...

So many things have come together in the usual synchronistic ways, urging me to WRITE again, get back to the blog...

I have missed the writing, the conversations, and the documentation of life as it hurtles by.

Yesterday our little world was rocked by the wrath of tornadoes. 62 of them, by some counts, raced through North Carolina and wreaked havoc.  I was knitting, watching the weather alerts, and poised to flee to the basement with the poodles when the map indicated that the storms would pass within 4 miles but not strike directly in my neighborhood.

Relief, and then I watched the qualifying show for the long Beach Grand Prix (my brother is doing the Versus coverage this year...he's Professor B...) and was transported to another place and time.

Took the doggies out for a lovely walk in the sunshine amid the debris (mostly small tree limbs and fallen blossoms, LOTS of pollen washed into strange yellow puddles) and counted my Blessings.

I checked the local newspage and was shocked by the devastation. It so closely mirrors the feeling of sadness and guilt and family drama associated with my sister's illness that I KNEW I had to start writing again.

I'm just getting my writing *legs* back, so you'll excuse the lack of flow here...I feel compelled, as Holy Week begins today, to step away from the crowds waving palm fronds and going along with popular opinion, to be still and look deeply INWARD.

Where do I want to be in the midst of all the swirling uncertainty?

On the road less travelled, of course, as is my way, but I want a better sense of my True North.

As a result of the Sleep Study, I have gained much insight and have made major changes which do indeed allow me to get the sleep I have been deprived of for so many years.  Quieting the hampsters of busyness (thanks so much for that image, Gina...) has left me with an empty place to contemplate.  I am making small steps to expand the zone of calm and set new boundaries for those who would violate it for their own purposes.

Learning to say NO, to not participate in the drama and the negativity.

The harder part is learning to say YES to the parts of me long supressed in order to put others first. It feels selfish and wrong to follow the directions to put my own oxygen mask on before helping others....I feel guilty counting my Blessings when there are so many suffering...

So I get up every day and do the best I can to encourage and love and support everyone I know who is struggling, and in the process I feel some reflected encouragement, and so on...

I hope you will join the conversation and let me know what has worked for YOU.

Blessings to you and yours, as always.

namaste.

Comments

[Colleen Roe Simmie]

Greta, lovely post. Still trying to find what works for me. I do know that my ballet class is a great source of calm. Blessings to you.

[Amy Santamaria]

Welcome back! I look forward to seeing your posts show up in my reader again. So glad that the sleep study gave you some relief.

What helps me is to get outside, look at the sky.

[greta]

Thanks Colleen! Dancing has always been a source of great joy for me, too.

I agree, Amy...anytime I can get outside is a GOOD time!